


At Least It Can't Get Any Worse

by DearHeartx



Series: Fictober 2018 [29]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Mild Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-23 23:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearHeartx/pseuds/DearHeartx
Summary: Shepard attempts to cope with Kaidan and everything about Horizon by taking a few days off on Omega; She's doing her best to forget all about Kaidan, but unfortunately, he happens to be on Omega, too.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: Fictober 2018 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802731





	At Least It Can't Get Any Worse

The Asari dancer has almost finished her routine. She’s only wearing a thong now and is bent over backward on the table. She inches forward on her knees and her powder blue belly is only inches from my nose. She folds down on her knees so that her back is flat against the table and I can see her spread out just for me.

I should be enjoying this, but all I can think about are the horrible words we exchanged on Horizon.

She catches my eye and pouts, clearly aware that I’m not invested in her dancing. She lifts my last shot of raspberry moonshine from the bartender upstairs and wiggles it at me with a gleam in her eye.

She lifts her glistening abdomen up to me and lays back down, seemingly appeased when I crack a smile. She pours my shot into her bellybutton and I think, ‘what the hell.’ I bend down and suck the liquid out of her bellybutton, licking the runaway trail of alcohol up her stomach, between her breasts and down her neck. Her laugh stirs my hair and she offers me her other services before I pull back. 

I hear his words echoing in my head again, even as I watch this beautiful woman writhing in front of me. “You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me.”

As I stand up the asari dancer grips my wrist and pouts. She is beautiful and I have always been curious how their services are different than whatever it was Liara did to help us find Saren. I let her pull me into her and our lips crash together. She tastes bittersweet, a mixture of sweat, alcohol, and honey.

You betrayed me.

I pull away slightly and she lets go, her head tilted in an obvious question.

I shake me head, let her know I’m okay, and go back in for another kiss. Even if I end up having to pay for whatever it is we end up doing, I need the distraction. I can’t handle this track on repeat anymore.

She breaks the kiss and I try to lean in again, but she’s already kissing my jaw and marking a trail all the way from my ear to my neck. She stops at the hollow just above my collar bone and starts to suckle at the tender skin. An explosion of pleasure and pain makes me cry out, a sound thankfully drowned out by the thumping of Afterlife’s music. Her hand slides up my shirt and her skin is like a fever traveling from my navel to my breast. Her delicate fingers stop just shy of my nipples and I want to scream. God, please, just distract me.

She yells into my ear just loud enough to be heard over the din, “Let’s go somewhere private.” 

I nod, but hold up my finger asking her for a minute. If I’m going to fuck the memory of Kaidan away, I’m going to need more alcohol.

I don’t want to lose my nerve or my mood, so I don’t bother going upstairs for the raspberry moonshine. I go to the batarian who’s tending bar right here and get whatever’s on tap. It’s a sweet smelling blue liquid. He smiles at me and I smile back, downing the whole drink in one go.

I’m halfway back to the table when I’m hit with the worst headache I’ve ever had in my entire life. My vision goes black and I fall to my knees. I don’t remember much after that. Maybe some noise and the feverish hands of the asari.

Then him.

The lights are too bright and they surround him like a halo as he look down at me. Why is he even here?

“Shepard?! Shepard?!”

His fingers run through my hair, brushing a lock out of my face and I swear if I wasn’t already dead, that would’ve sent me over the edge.

I try to talk and it takes a few attempts. My throat feels like I drank battery acid. “K-k—” I swallow, but it doesn’t help. Then the asari from the club hands Kaidan a glass of water that he helps to my lips. “Kaidan.” I try not to smile like an idiot, but it’s no use.

But Kaidan isn’t smiling. In fact, his neck is a little purple under the collar, a subtle indication that he’s trying to restrain his biotics. He’s furious.

“Glad to know you’re still capable of enjoying yourself.” His eyes flicker to the barely covered Asari on my other side and I would bother feeling ashamed if my head didn’t hurt so damn badly.

“I almost died and you’re going to play the jealous boyfriend?” I snap and sit up, shoving his hand and the proffered water away from me.

He opens his mouth but snaps it shut again.

“Are you okay?” The asari asks, her head tilted in the most innocent fashion. I’m fairly certain she hasn’t picked up on any of the awkward subtext between Kaidan and I and I wonder how long I’d been out. Even worse, what she and Kaidan had talked about while I was unconscious. 

“I’m fine, just a headache.” I finally take the water from Kaidan who is still following me around and badgering me with it. He seems pleased, although the smile lasts less than half a second when I accept the cup. “What happened?”

Kaidan runs a hand through his hair.

“And why are you here?” I wince when I see the hurt look quickly taken over by shock and anger flash across Kaidan’s face. 

“I’m here on Spectre business.” He crosses his arm and takes a step backward. “Not that I owe you an explanation.”

The asari—I really should know her name, my tongue was in her bellybutton—interrupts us as though no one was even speaking. 

“That batarian bartender is known for that, for slipping dextrose-based drinks to humans? I’m pretty sure you’re the first to survive.”

She says it like it’s something to be proud of, not like anyone is even slightly concerned about the batarian and his antihuman leanings.

“He’ll wish I hadn't.” After a brief moment of strategizing, I turn back to the asari. “Go back to Afterlife. Keep an eye on him. Call me if he leaves.” The asari immediately starts to do as she's told, but stops to kiss me on the cheek. I'm too startled to do much of anything except stare at Kaidan's and touch where I’m pretty certain is a soft pink lipstick stain. 

The hotel room door closes softly behind her and Kaidan scrubs his hands down his face. “The asari clearly love you. Charming one batarian should be a breeze.” He mutters it and I'm not sure if he intended me to hear. 

“Excuse me?”

He doesn't say anything. 

“If you have something to say, Major Alenko,” I close the space between us in two steps, “now is the time to do it.” My nose is almost close enough to touch his chin. I refuse to left myself look at his soft, gorgeous mouth. The mouth that suddenly I can’t stop thinking about. The mouth that has covered my body in delicate, featherlight kisses in the comfort of my private quarters; the mouth that has stolen kisses, frantic and desperate, in the dark corridors of the Normandy where hopefully no one could see.

God damn it. I shake away the memories enough to realize I’ve been staring at his mouth. He, on the other hand, is looking directly into my eyes. His usually honey brown irises have grown dark, almost completely black in his restrained rage.

“I thought what we had meant something,” he says through gritted teeth.

“It did!” I can’t help but to lay both my hands across his chest, taking another step forward. Not that there was much space between us to begin with. “It does,” I say quieter. 

“Who was she?”

He doesn’t pull back, but he isn’t looking at me. His face is twisted awkwardly away, an angle I’m sure must hurt his neck. My face burns with shame and I’m glad he isn’t watching me, that he can’t see the horrific shade of violet tinting my cheeks.

“I don’t know,” I finally say.

That’s when he pulls away, a sudden and violent act that feels like the heartbreak of Horizon all over again.

“Kaidan—” I start, my voice warbling from the tears that silently break over my eyelids.

“No.” He cuts me off as he braces his forearm against the window and looks out over the bustling nightlife of Omega. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Eliza.” His shoulders sank as he let out a deep sigh. “We haven’t been together in over two years. Hell, we were only dating for a month. If you could even call it that.”

His words knock the air out of like the time I took a krogan charge to the back. Eventually I am able to stutter, “What would you call it?” I don’t want to know his answer, but at this point, I’m not sure he can say anything to make this worse. After all, I started it by taking body shots off an asari in front of him. Or maybe I started it when I agreed to work with Cerberus. Hell, it could even be my fault for starting a relationship with a subordinate officer. Either way, he never asked for any of this.

“Fraternization.”

I was wrong. This was the verbal equivalent of a krogan charge to the back. The sun has gone down completely now and the only light left in the hotel room is from the neon lights flashing below. It gives me just enough light to navigate around the coffee table and come within arms reach of him, although I stop just short. My heart pounds in my ears and if he says anything, I’m sure I didn’t hear it. I’m surprised by how steady my voice is when I’m finally able to open my mouth. “How dare you?” The words are slow and roiling as they leave my lips, an uninhibited darkness. 

He turns to look at me, eyes wide with surprise. 

“How dare I?” He half screeches, his biotics flaring. “Shepard! You died! You left me!” The neon lights cast wild shadows across his face. It makes it harder to read the true feelings underneath. His energy breaks and even in the quiet, his voice cracks, “You didn’t bother to even come see me when you woke up.”

There are a million things I want to say to defend myself. I couldn’t, I had to save the world. Cerberus wouldn’t let me, He was part of the Alliance. He was busy with his investigations. Anderson stonewalled me. But really…if I’m honest, I was just scared. I can’t say any of those things to him.

“For all I knew,” he continues, “you had found somebody new. You and Garrus were always close.”

An untold rage snaps inside me. We’d had this fight before. We’ve both apologized after having this fight, too. Hell, I even know his insecurity comes from his past with Rahna and he does, too. But I can’t stop myself.

“God damn it, Kaidan! You know me!” Now I’m screeching. 

“I don’t know, Shepard! I used to!”

He grabs my wrist and stops my slap three inches from his face and glares at me. We stand in place, frozen with his hand on mine for one too many heartbeats. But then the slightest movement, just one finger. His hand loosens around my wrist and I feel his index finger slide up my palm. My heart drops from my chest.

A whisper, “Ka—”

His mouth is on mine with such force it’s almost painful. But it’s a welcome pain. A pain so preferable to the ball and chain of hurt and regret I’ve been lugging around since Horizon. He softens the kiss as he opens up to me. God, he tastes the same, a wash of coffee and toothpaste to cover up the one cigarette he had when he just couldn’t handle whatever was stressing him out this week. I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck when I realize that I was probably what he couldn’t handle this week. I break the kiss and nuzzle into his neck, the smell of freshly laundered clothes and something reminiscent of chlorine from his biotics all too comforting, all too familiar.

He runs his hand through my hair and it sends a chill down my spine. I can tell he’s debating his next move—ever the tactician—as I stand in his arms, my breath hot against his neck. What can only be a couple seconds feels like hours, but then he makes his decision. One arm tightens on my back while the other slides under my hips and lifts me up. Instinctively, as though no time has passed at all and we’re back in my bunk on the SR-1, I wrap my legs around his waist and try to kiss him between my laugh. “I think we’re supposed to be taking care of something.” My tongue traces the outer edge of his ear and his breath hitches. “Arresting somebody.” I nibble, just a little too hard, and he chides me through a throaty chuckle. “A batarian, right?” 

My back slams into the other wall and I can feel how hard he is, pressed up against me. He doesn’t reply, he just shakes his head and unbuttons the top-most button of my blouse. His fingers still before moving on to the second button and I freeze, afraid he’s realized he’s suddenly made a horrible mistake and he couldn’t possibly sleep with someone with ties to Cerberus.

But no.

He looks at me, his eyes that beautiful milky, honey color, and runs his finger down my cheek. I’m not sure why he’s stopped and I’m about to ask, when he says, “Can I?” His fingers falling from my feverish skin to the buttons on my blouse.

He’s still holding me against the wall, so I nod and take the opportunity to roll my hips into his. He groans, his eyes closing against the sensation. When he opens them again, he grabs both sides of my blouse and tears. It’s nothing like the movies. We both look down at the rumpled shirt, two or three buttons missing, the rest still attached just as surely as they were a moment ago. His laugh is deep and rich and I can’t remember a time he’s ever laughed so freely. 

I take pity on him and lift it over my head. 

When he sees the lack of clothing underneath, he goes silent. His hand reverently traces every curve of my chest, his thumb coming to a stop just under my nipple.

“Are you sure you don’t want to arrest the—”

He looks up, his mouth set in mock anger. “Eliza Shepard, I swear to god, if you mention that batarian one more time—”

“Just checking,” I wiggle out between him and wall. Grabbing his belt, I pull him toward the large glass window with the flashing neon signs of the city below. “I know I’ll remember this. Let’s make sure Omega does, too.”


End file.
